Today I contemplate Who I am dependent on, not what I’m dependent on Him to make me or do for me. He can change that as often as the wind shifts direction if He chooses. And it’s not my business to hole up at any given “stop” and sing the praises of how used of Him I may be in that stage. Nothing’s more boring and uncomfortable then hearing someone sing the arrogant praises of their usefulness to God, which can be a lengthy delusion.
To truly take stock of His leading and “nudging”, especially in retrospect, can bring me to stark realizations of my failure to follow. I become keenly aware of His gentle tugs and my reasoning to the contrary. Of course, if I haven’t spent much time in prayer, meditation and Bible study, then I’m not as likely to have experienced His personal comfort, exhortations, nudging, and yes, even discipline.
But once the soul searching has commenced, I fasten my eyes on Him and take a deep breath before “marching on”. It doesn’t matter what others judgement of my walk is (within the guidelines of the Word). “Theirs” is to take stock of His leading, which may be very different then mine. “Mine” is to take His personal instructions and proceed, keeping my eyes on Him, without heed for the judgment, which some are sure to issue, and without indulging in judging or bitterness myself. “He alone is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold…” Ps. 62:2 HCSB.
The only definite thing we believers have in common, other than Christ and Him crucified, is whether we are striving to obey His individual calling in our lives; not whether our individual instructions look similar.
Oswald Chambers set the bar high in his November 15 “My Utmost for His Highest” devotional, ‘When we are consciously being used as broken bread and poured-out wine, there is another stage to be reached, where all consciousness of ourselves and of what God is doing through us is eliminated. A saint is never consciously a saint; a saint is consciously dependent on God.’